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Jeffy
Valentine Roses Featured
Valentine Roses A touching story... Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose. And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows. The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door. The card said, ""Be my Valentine,"" like ...
LITTLE KNOWN TIDBIT OF NAVAL HISTORY... Featured
The U. S. S. Constitution (Old Ironsides), as a combat vessel, carried 48,600 gallons of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men. This was sufficient to last six months of sustained operations at sea. She carried no evaporators (i.e. fresh water ...
OLD, BUT TRUE Featured
An English professor wrote the words: "A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly. All of the males in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing." All the females in th ...
Interesting Historical Trivia, cost you an arm and a le... Featured
In George Washington's days, there were no cameras. One's image was either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms. Prices char ...
Interesting Historical Trivia, Chairman of the Board Featured
In the late 1700's, many houses consisted of a large room with only one chair. Commonly, a long wide board folded down from the wall, and was used for dining. The 'head of the household' always sat in the chair, whiles everyone else ate sitting on the f ...
Interesting Historical Trivia, losing face Featured
Personal hygiene left much room for improvement. As a result, many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood. The women would spread bee's wax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions. When they were speaking to each other, if a ...
Interesting Historical Trivia, freeze the balls off a b... Featured
In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many freighters carried iron cannons. Those cannons fired round iron cannon balls. It was necessary to keep a good supply near to the cannon. However, how to prevent them from rolling about the deck? The b ...
Joe's Surgery Featured
The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one heck of a headache. The on ...
THE HAZARDS OF OVER-INDULGENCE
THE BOARD OF HEALTH HAS PROPOSED THAT WARNING SIGNS BE PLACED ON LIQUOR BOTTLES TO WARN DRINKERS ABOUT THE HAZARDS OF OVER-INDULGENCE. 1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole. 2. WARNING: consumption of alcoho ...
Gravity-Defying Tequila
A guy is sitting at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He's slamming tequila left and right. He grabs one, drinks it, goes over to a window and jumps out. The guy who was sitting next to him couldn't believe that the guy had just done t ...
Tree Hugger
A woman from Los Angeles, who was a tree hugger and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the b ...
The Three Buddies
Three buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, ""When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, ""I would like to h ...
Shopping Wal-Mart - this one stinks
A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart associate standing there with dark shades on. She says, ""Excuse me, Sir, can you tell me anythi ...
NEW Euro-Language policy
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Govern ...
NEW computer Viruses To Watch Out For
Here's some more Viruses To Watch For... PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS: Your system works fine, but it complains loudly about foreign software. O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS: You know it's guilty of trashing your system, but you just can't prove it. BOB DOLE VIRUS: Coul ...
the NEW Stress Diet really works
------Stress Diet------ Breakfast *1/2 grapefruit *1 slice whole wheat bread *8 oz. skim milk Lunch *4 oz. broiled chicken breast *1 cup steamed zucchini *1 Oreo cookie *Cup herb tea Mid Afternoon Snack *Rest of the package of Oreo cookies *1 quart
Never Trust A Sailor
A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said, ""Look, you've got a lot to live for. I' ...
The Farmer and the Kid
There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire. ""Hey kid!"" the farmer says. ""Where ya goin' with that wire?"" ""Well,"" the kid drawls, ""thi ...
The Bar-Hopping Monkey
The Bar-Hopping Monkey A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off of the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats ...