Jokes Jokes At Work
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At Work
Love work?, hate working?, what is your job? Are you bored at work? Work jokes? Bloopers, comedy, serious, silly & cute Are you a volunteer, social worker, sales, engineer, manager, retail, consultant, designer, doctor, nurse, government, police, teacher, student, school, college, creative, trucker, dentist, technician, coach, Are you telecommuting or a home worker? Employer? Forget , flipdog, monster, hotjobs, search for meaning here, and add your two cents too!
WAL-MART APPLICATION
***Old People Rock! *** This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him because he was so funny..... NAME: George Martin SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman ...
Debra or Jack?
The Boss was in quandary. He had to reduce his staff by one. He had it narrowed down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision, they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used ...
Work Pun Fun
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited fo ...
The Elephant - true story
The San Francisco Zoo has an elephant, named Calle. It seems that Calle has a chronic illness which requires daily medication. The zoo people couldn't get Calle to take her dose orally, so a pharmacologist developed a suppository for her. The 10-inch-lon ...
Corporate America
14 Ways To Know If You've Been in Corporate America Too Long 1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are. 2. You decide to re-org your family into a ""team-based organization."" 3. You refer to dating as test marketing. 4. You ca ...
Caught sleeping at your desk?
Best excuses if you get caught sleeping at your desk 1. ""They told me at the blood bank this might happen."" 2. ""This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."" 3. ""Whew! Guess I left the ...
Etch-A-Sketch Y2K Conversions
Corporate has defined a lower cost alternative for Mac to NT conversions that also addresses the Y2K (Year 2000) issue: The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by Jan, 1999. Instead, everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch. There are ...
CAJUN MATH -or- things are not as they appear
An old Cajun applies for a construction job but the foreman doesn't want to hire him. So he gives him a little test: ""Here's your first question,"" the foreman said. ""Without using numbers, represent the number 9."" ""Without numbers?"" the Cajun says ...
Dr Phil's personality test
Below is my, (Dr Phil) test. (Dr. Phil scored 55; he did this test on Oprah - she got a 38.) Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out! Read on, this is very interesting! Don't be overly sensitive! The following is pretty accurate and it only ...
Funny sign spotting
These are real signs compiled for your enjoyment . . . . Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "" Dr. Jones, at your cervix."" ************************** In a Podiatrist'soffice: ""Time wounds all heels."" ************************** On a Sep ...
The Top 12 Things You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Supp...
12 ""Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"" 11 ""...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."" 10 ""So -- what are you wearing?"" 9 ""Duuuuuude! Bummer!"" 8 ""Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n."" 7 ""Press 1 ...
The Plan
In the Beginning was The Plan And then came The Assumptions And The Assumptions were without form And The Plan was without substance And darkness was upon the face of The Workers And They spoke amongst themselves, saying ""It is a crock of Shit, and It St ...
Computer terminology...
MODEM (What you did to the hay fields...) DOT MATRIX (Farmer Matrix's old lady...) PRINTER (Someone who can't write in cursive...) LAPTOP (Where little kids feel comfy...) KEYBOARD (Where you hang your keys...) ELECTRONIC MAIL (Bathroom readin' material.. ...
a Wonderful Machine: The Sweetest Christmas Movie Frank...
a Wonderful Machine: The Sweetest Christmas Movie Frank Capra Never Made I guess I shouldn't have gone to a party where the eggnog was spiked, and maybe I shouldn't have watched the movie It's a Wonderful Life while leafing through MacWeek. But anyway, I ...
Ladder to Success
A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which was sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. ""Screw me or climb the ladder to success"" she said ...
changing a lightbulb..
Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1,331: 1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the ...
No Dogs on Computer
20. Can't stick their heads out of Windows XP 19. Fetch command not available on all platforms. 18. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side. 17. Too difficult to ""mark"" every website they visit. 16. Can't help attacking the screen whe ...
Office Fun
How to Keep the Office Interesting Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document. Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during t ...
Smutty language
Smutty language from a man to a man is entertainment .................smutty language from a woman to a man is entertainment and smutty language from a man to a woman is sexual harrasment.