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These People Vote - Yikes
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at ...
RAISING KIDs RIGHT!
One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children. The teacher asked a little boy: Tommy do you see the tree outside? TOMMY: Yes. TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside? TOMMY: Yes. ...
Getting Old
Getting Old A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seat ...
PRESIDENTIAL OBSERVATIONS BY THE SECRET SERVICE
Dave Kulow, our neighbor when I lived in DC was a member of the Secret Service presidential detail for many years. His stories of Kennedy and Johnson were the same as those I heard from the guys who flew the presidents' plane. The information here is accu ...
Who Would You Rather Be?
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH 1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay 2. Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time 3. You get to eat disgusting food like snails and frogs legs 4. If there's a war you can surrend ...
Our Generation...Part 1
I am a child of the 70's and 80's. That is what I prefer to be called. The 90's can do without me. Grunge isn't here to stay, fashion is fickle and ""Generation X"" is a myth created by some over-40 writer trying to figure out why people wear flannel i ...
Our Generation...Part 2
You NEVER drank the New Coke. Entertainment was cheap and lasted for hours. All you needed to be a princess were high heels and an apron; the Sit 'n' Spin always made you dizzy but never made you stop; Pogoballs were dangerous weapons and Chinese Jump R ...
a politician in the making.
John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called pullets and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs. The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup p ...
Good old days - original ""HOLLYWOOD SQUARES quotes
If you remember the original ""HOLLYWOOD SQUARES"" and its comics, this will bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and dull as they are now. Peter ...
Words to Live By
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
What Am I?
This useful tool, commonly found in the range of eight inches long, the functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sexes, is usually found hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action. It boasts a clump of little hairy things at one end and a ...
Reasons to shop at Sears
I assume you have all seen the reports about how Sears is treating its reservist employees who are called up? By law, they are required to hold their jobs open and available, but nothing more. Usually, people take a big pay cut and lose benefits as a resu ...
The Irish Prostitute
An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cussed her. "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru? The gi ...
What is an American?
What is an American? Written by an Australian Dentist... To Kill an American You probably missed it in the rush of news last week, but there was actually a report that someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper an offer of a reward to anyone who ...
Alligators, Politicians & the Truth
Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you kin be so much bigger 'n me. We're the same age, we was the same size as kids. I just don't get it." "Well," said the ...
COWBOY and INDIAN and ARAB
Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge in Bozeman, Montana, awaiting their flights. One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer. Another is a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show and ...
Parent Abuse
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 -year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now... Cause this is th ...
Gas War - consumers unite
GAS WAR - an idea that WILL work This was originally sent by a retired Coca Cola executive. It came from one of his engineer buddies who retired from Halliburton. It ' s worth your consideration. Join the resistance!!!! I hear we are going to hit close t ...
THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me! 4. Some people are alive only because it' ...
Some recent bumper stickers
Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass. Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings," The proctologist called...they found your head. Everyone has a photographic memory ...some just don't have any film. Save your breath..Y ...