TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH
1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay
2. Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time
3. You get to eat disgusting food like snails and frogs legs
4. If there's a war you can surrender really early
5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films
6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries
7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street, humiliating your sense of national pride
9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just piss in the street
10. People think you're a great lover even though you're not
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN
1. You can have a woman president without electing her
2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it
3. You can call Budweiser beer
4. You can be a crook and still hold elected office
5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything
6. If you can breathe you can get a gun
7. You can invent a new public holiday every year
8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care
9. You get to call everyone you've ever met ""buddy""
10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH
1. Two World Wars and One World Cup
2. Warm beer
3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket
4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events
5. Union jack underpants
6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer
7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power
8. Bathing once a week--whether you need to or not
9. Ditto changing underwear
10. Beats being Welsh…or Scottish
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN
1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
2. Unembarred to wear fur
3. No need to worry about tax returns
4. Glorious military history... well, till about 400 A.D.
5. Can wear sungles inside
6. Political stability
7. Flexible working hours
8. Live near the Pope
9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair
10. Country run by Sicilian murderers
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH
1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes
2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees
3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits etc.
4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans
5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing
6. Honesty
7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls
8. You get to eat bulls' testicles
9. Gibraltar
10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN
1. Chicken Madras
2. Lamb Panda
3. Onion Bhaji
4. Bombay Potato
5. Chicken Tikka Masala
6. Rogan Josh
7. Pappadoms
8. Chicken Dopiaza
9. Meat Poona
10. Kingfisher lager
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH
1. Very funny
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH
1. Guinness
2. 18 children to a family
3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road
4. Pubs never close
5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception ped in the second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex using a condom
6. No one can ever remember the night before
7. Kill people you don't agree with
8. Stew
9. More Guinness
10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN
1. It beats being an American
2. You get to say ""aye"" a lot
3. You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors
4. Aye
5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise
7. Aye
8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge frigging shotguns and cover your house in their skins
9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme
10. Aye
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN
1. Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bast* that no civilized nation on earth wanted
2. Foster's Lager
3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you
4. Annihilate England every time you play them at cricket, even though you don't understand the rules either
5. Tact and sensitivity
6. Bondi Beach
7. Other beaches
8. Liberated attitude to homosexuals
9. Drinking cold lager on the beach
10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach
TOP TEN REASONS TO BE ISRAELI
1. Get to speak a language no one else in the world can understand.
2. Can party down while crazy Arabs bomb cities.
3. Public transportation
4. Great homesteading opportunities
5. Has the US snookered into believing they are allies
6. Beautiful population of Unibrows
7. Right to carry fully automatic weapons
8. Smelly tourists
9. No restrictive Catholic edicts
10. No change lying around