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Translating Southern United States Dialect to English ---------------------------------------------------------- BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive ""to borrow."" Usage: ""My brother bard my pickup truck."" JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida. Usage: ""My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."" MUNTS - noun. A calendar division. Usage: ""My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."" IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See ""Auburn Alumni."" Usage: ""Them there boys shonuff are ignert!"" ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: ""I shonuff hope my brother from Jawjuh puts some all in my pickup truck."" FAR - noun. A conflagration. Usage: ""If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that thangs gonna catch far."" BAHS - noun. A supervisor. Usage: ""If you don't stop readin' these Southern wurds and git back ta work, yo bahs is gonna far you!"" TAR - noun. A rubber wheel. Usage: ""Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a dang flat tar in my pickup truck."" TIRE - noun. A tall monument. Usage: ""Lord willing and the creek don't rise, I shonuff hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."" AIG - noun. a common breakfast food, usually laid by chickens. Usage: ""I dis love eatin' good ol' aigs & bacon on Sundey mornins. RETARD - Verb. To stop working. Usage: ""My granpaw retard at age 65."" TARRED - adverb. Exhausted. Usage: ""I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."" RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege. Usage: ""We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."" LAT - adjective. Luminescent. Usage: ""I dream of Jeanie with the lat-brown hayer."" FARN - adjective. Not local. Usage: ""I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."" DAYUD - adjective. Not alive. Usage: ""He's dayud, Jim...they burd 'em over a week ago."" AYER - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA). Usage: ""He caint breathe ... give 'em some ayer fer goodnuss sake!"" BOB WERE - noun. A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: ""Boy,yu bes' stay 'way from that bob were fence."" JU-HERE - a question. Usage: ""Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?"" HAZE - a contraction meaning (he is.) Usage: ""Is Bubba smart?"" ""Nah ... haze ignert."" SEED - verb, past tense. VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun meaning (have you.) Usage: ""I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"" HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action. Usage: ""Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"" GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed tax sucking bureaucratic institution. Usage: ""Great ... ANNUDDER gummit shutdown!""

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