Directory

90's Pres Joke

Fname

Jay Dimo

Owner

Jeffy

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Clean

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medium

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Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. Suddenly Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the side and onto the field. The stunned umpire shouted, No, Mr. President! I said, `Throw the first PITCH!'"" *** Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. The chicken sounds good; I'll have that,"" Hillary says. The waiter nods. And the vegetable?"" he asks. Oh, HE'll have the fish,"" Hillary replies. *** Clinton is looking out of the window and he notices that someone has urinated the message, ""BILL SUCKS!"" on a wall outside the White House. Furious, he orders the FBI to take urine and handwriting samples from every member of the White House staff and find the culprit immediately. A week later, the FBI director calls. ""Mr. President, I have good news and bad news,"" he says. ""The good news is that the urine belongs to Bob Dole."" ""And the bad news?"" Clinton demands. After a slight pause, the director replies, ""Sir, the handwriting belongs to your wife!"" *** Clinton returns from a vacation in Arkansas and walks down the steps of Air Force One with two pigs under his arms. At the bottom of the steps, the honor guardsman steps forward and remarks, ""Nice pigs, Mr. President"" Clinton replies, ""I'll have you know that these are genuine Arkansas Razor Back Hogs. I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary. So, now what do you think?"" The honor guardsman answers: ""Nice trade, Sir."" *** One day, Clinton called the White House interior decorator into the Oval Office. He was very furious and said, ""Chelsea is very upset because she thinks she has the ugliest room in the entire White House; I want something done about it immediately!"" Yes Sir, Mr. President,"" the interior decorator replies. ""I'll take those mirrors out right away!"" *** Quayle, Dole, and Packwood are traveling in a car together in the midwest. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. When they come to and extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're in the Land of Oz. They decide to go see the Wizard of Oz. Quayle says, ""I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain."" Dole says, ""I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart."" Packwood says, ""Where's Dorothy??"" *** Q.Bill and Hillary are on a sinking boat. Who gets saved? A. The nation. Q. What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a dishonest lawyer? A. Chelsea. Q. What does Bill say to Hillary after having Sex? A. ""Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes.""

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