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Jokes Jokes Random Funny Stuff original ""HOLLYWOOD SQUARES quotes - Good old days -
If you remember the original ""HOLLYWOOD SQUARES"" and its comics, this will bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are
from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking
The questions.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to
get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a
goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into
the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting ""Poo! Poo!
Poo!"" What does this mean?
A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and
has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in
bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh
Just imagine, lots of great humor with some innuendo and not one f-word
or other garbage-mouth crap...now those were the ""good old days"" in my
book!
Jokes Jokes Random Funny Stuff original ""HOLLYWOOD SQUARES quotes - Good old days -
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original ""HOLLYWOOD SQUARES quotes - Good old days -
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