JeffsHome 
Jokes Jokes Random Funny Stuff TOASTER LOGIC
If Xerox made toasters... you could toast one-sided or double-sided. Successive slices would get lighter and lighter. The toaster would jam your bread for you.
If Cray made toasters... they would cost $16 million but would be faster than any other single-slice toaster in the world.
If Sony made toasters... the Toast-Man would barely be larger than the single piece of bread it was designed to toast, and it could be conveniently attached to your belt.
If IBM made toasters... they would have one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide market for five, maybe six toasters.
If Apple made toasters... they'd claim their toaster was compatible with all brands and styles of bread, but when you got it home you'd discover the Bagel Engine was still in development, the Croissant Extension was three years away, and that indeed the whole appliance was just blowing smoke.
And, of course, if Microsoft made toasters... every time you bought a loaf of bread, you would have to buy a toaster. You wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'd still have to pay for it anyway.
Toaster 95 would weigh 15,000 pounds (hence requiring a reinforced steel countertop), and draw enough electricity to power a small city, take up 95 per cent of the space in your kitchen, would claim to be the first toaster that lets you control how light or dark you want your toast to be, and would secretly interrogate your other appliances to find out who made them. Everyone would hate Microsoft toasters, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the good bread only works with their toasters.
=====================================================
After Dark, of course, already makes toasters (well, at least a toaster screensaver), but would probably react to this onslaught in the toaster industry by making their flying toasters actually come out of the screen in 3D Java, complete with the aroma of perfectly prepared toast.
Ah, hi-tek toaster technology, what would we do without it?
Jokes Jokes Random Funny Stuff TOASTER LOGIC
Directory
TOASTER LOGIC
Rating
0 vote