Fractured Fairy Tales

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More Jokes - Silly Fun

These are a little different from what I remember

Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the king's horses

And all the king's men.

Had scrambled eggs,

For breakfast again.

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Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,

All over the bedside clock.

The little dog laughed to see such fun.

Then died of electric shock.

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Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

And when the boys came out to play,

He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

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There was a little girl who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good, she was very, very good.

But when she was bad........

She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

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Mary had a little pig,

She kept it fat and plastered;

And when the price of pork went up,

She shot the little bastard.