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Two neighbors in Tampa, Florida, decided to share the cost of a lawnmower and purchased a brand new Black & Decker gas-powered model. In the spirit of further cooperation, the men decided to trim the hedge between their two yards. Standing one on either side of the hedge, they lifted the mower over the top and attempted to trim the shrubbery. The resulting kickback caused serious injury to both men, who in turn have successfully sued the manufacturer on the grounds that the machine's operating manual did not include any warning against using the mower for hedge trimming....And upside-down, it makes a great food processor... Police in Denver responded to a report of an intoxicated man in the middle of Lincoln street attempting to stop traffic with his bare hands. When the officers arrested the man, he became combative and informed them that he was ""the president of the Colorado chapter of Hell's Angels,"" and that 47,000 of his friends would soon descend on the station if they didn't let him go. The biker hordes failed to show, and the man was released into the custody of his mother... Herman Gerguson of Omaha, Nebraska, saw a snake slither into a hole under his house. Thinking quickly, he jammed a burning newspaper into the hole. The siding caught fire, and the house burned to the ground... The Lexington, Machusetts, Superintendent of Schools has announced some interesting additions to the school curriculum. New courses in drugs, smoking, and alcohol will be held as follows: Smoking will be taught in grade 6 and 7, alcohol in grades 8 and 11, and drugs in 9 and 12... not now, Mom, I'm studying for my drug test... We can't help but agree with the American Medical News, which stated in its review of an I.Q. longevity study that ""those still alive at the age of 80 are more intelligent that those who died.""... Richard Avella, a 350 pound New York man, entered a Long Island jewelry store, drew a gun, and told the clerk, ""This is a stick-up,"" then tripped and fell to the floor. He was unable to get up before police arrived... A study at the Agean University in Ankara revealed that disco music causes homosexuality in mice... oh, but their little outfits are so cute... Officials from the Occupational Safety and Health Administration inspected their own offices and cited themselves on three safely violations...and if I don't get this taken care of right away, I'm going to have to shut me down... A Vermont man who stopped to help a stranded woman with a flat tire was injured when the jack slipped out from under the car and pinned him to the ground. As he writhed in pain under the weight of the car, the woman berated him for failing to complete the job. She then replaced the lug nuts, jacked the car off his body, told him, ""The hospital is just down the road,"" and drove away... A man in York, England, signed up for the Special Olympics competition, and won several events, including the wheelchair discus throw. The man was disqualified, however, when several people recognized him as their mailman, a perfectly healthy fellow. When asked about the ruse, the man explained, ""It's all a mistake. I'm sick.""... After many years of trying, U.S. Public Health workers report that they have finally succeeded in transferring gonorrhea from humans to chimpanzees... Juan Diaz of Tavara, Spain, got a prescription from his doctor for quinine tablets. He took one of the pills and died. Pharmacist Jose Mendoza swore to the police that his pills could not have killed Diaz. To prove it, he took one of the tablets. He also died... could we have one more volunteer, just to be sure?... When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, robber James Eliot peered down the barrel and tried it again. This time, it worked... Ron Hoffman of Crystal, Kentucky, picked up a machete and lopped off the red roof light of a Pennsylvania state police cruiser. After his arrest, Hoffman explained it was ""just something he always wanted to do""... From Venus, the Earth looks blue. We include this item for those readers who insist on personally checking everything in Bizarre!... Some sad news today from Philadelphia: Dr. Edward Weiss has died following a heart attack. Dr. Weiss was best known for his book, ""Don't Worry About Your Heart""... What did you dream last night? According to the Dictionary of Dreams, if you dream of seeing the dew at dawn, you have one loyal friend. If instead you dream of hitting someone with your fists, you will enjoy a long friendship...What do you say, let's be friends...... That's Bizarre!, and remember, it's all true...

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