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Joe's Surgery Featured
The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one heck of a headache. The on ...
HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; ...
Cultural Difference or Japanese Wisdom?
An American, a Japanese and a Chinese went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted. When they came upon a small lake, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water, since it was fairly secluded, Feeling refre ...
in memory of The Pillsbury Dough boy
Please join in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Dough boy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Dough boy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of cel ...
Dr. Seuss in the Golden Years
THE GOLDEN YEARS, by DR. SEUSS I cannot see I cannot pee I cannot chew I cannot screw Oh, my God, what can I do? My memory shrinks My hearing stinks No sense of smell I look like hell My mood is bad - can you tell? My body's drooping Have tro ...
Best Rum Cake Ever
1 or 2 quarts rum 1 cup butter 1 teaspoon sugar 2 large eggs 1 cup dried fruit Baking powder 1 teaspoon soda Lemon juice Brown sugar Nuts Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. Good, isn't it? Now, go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, ...
STRESSED
This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that builds up during the day. BREAKFAST 1 grapefruit 1 slice whole-wheat toast 1 cup skim milk LUNCH small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach 1 cup herbal ...
VAN GOGH'S RELATIVES
The grandfather who moved to Yugoslavia ... ---> U. Gogh The brother who accidentally bleached all his clothes white... ---> Hue Gogh The real obnoxious brother ... ---> Please Gogh The brother who ate prunes ... ---> Gotta Gogh The uncle who worked a ...
The Poem
The sky was dark. The moon was high. All alone just she and I. Her eyes were blue. I knew just what she wanted to do. Her skin so soft. Her legs so fine. I ran my finger down her spine. I didn't know how, but I tried my best. I started by placing my hands ...
Jesus Doesn't Love Everyone
A burglar got into a house one night. Shining his flashlight on the floor in the dark, he heard a voice saying, ""Jesus is watching you."" He looked around nervously, shook his head, and kept looking for valuables. He again heard, ""Jesus is watching you ...
Jedi Mind Trick
This is too- too- too- weird. It worked exactly for me Good luck!! Jedi Mind Trick This little Jedi mind trick is kinda freaky, till you think about it a little while. Then it's even more weird. Just follow the instructions below: DON'T scroll down too ...
Med Terms Fun
ARTERY the study of paintings BACTERIA the back door of a cafeteria BARIUM what doctors do when a patient dies BOWEL a letter like A.E.I.O.U. CAESAREAN SECTION a neighbor ...
Penis Tax Notice
Important Tax Notice To: All Male Employees From: I.R.S Service Center RE: Notice of increase in tax payments The only thing the I.R.S. has not taxed yet is your penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 20% of ...
Warning! Puns Ahead...
(1) King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for ...
Ferrari vs. Moped
A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO It is also the most expensive car in the world and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. An old man on a Moped, looking about 100 years o ...
Beer Quotes
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy—Benjamin Franklin Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. ...
The Theory of Intelligence - and BEER
Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a wh ...